Dollar Store Fashion Tips

I've been spending quite a considerable time at the Dollar store for some reason, and I feel like there should be some sort of dress code or something.
1. No shirt, No shoes, No service.
Pretty self explanatory and thought to be common sense, until I saw some guy walking around barefoot. Some other guy was just completely thumbing his nose to common sense by being bare-chested and on roller blades.  When I told him I didn't think he could be in there, he asked me: "Why, don't you like staring at my sixpack?"  Dude,You're at a Dollar store... not the beach. I could care less that you have a sixpack because you seem like a pompous douchebag.

2. Please wear something on your butt, ie pants, shorts, skirts, capris etc.. This goes with the no shirt rule,  but people don't consider it as much. Also thought this was a common sense thing too, but I saw a woman wearing no pants/shorts in the store. None. Only a Tshirt that barely covered her butt. Plus, if your kid can walk- it is NOT acceptable to have them walking around in a diaper, especially if they look to be over a year old. There are shorts, Skirts and Dresses to maintain some of your child's dignity.

3. Showing skin-->
3a) See-through tshirts
I know it's popular these days to wear shirts that are kind of see-through, Lacy shirts and shirts that have been stressed in a pattern are all the rage, but there's a certain list of rules that needs to be given out to anyone who buys one.
1. Do not wear this shirt without a cami... and if that's too hard
2. Do not wear this shirt with a contrasting bra, or no Bra at all.
I've seen women who wear these shirts and I've felt like gagging while looking at them. HOW CAN YOU POSSIBLY NOT BE SELF- CONSCIOUS ON ANY LEVEL?
3b) Open shirts
Hey Guys. I accept that Hawaiian shirts with their light fabric are pretty comfortable in summer. That's great,
but please BUTTON THEM UP. I do not find a beer belly covered in ridiculous amounts of hair attractive in the very least.
3c) Belly shirts
The sale of Belly shirts should be restricted to those under the age of 25, and I mean severely. I am tired of seeing fat old women squeeze themselves into belly shirts. Belly shirts were made for people who don't have bellies. Same thing applies to shirts that are too short. My stomach roils everytime I see some three-hundred pound person who's gut is hanging out of the bottom of their shirt.
3d) Short Shorts
The restrictions mentioned above should be also applied to short shorts. If I can count the veins or wrinkles on your legs, cover that shenanigans up.
I don't get these crusty old grannies walking in the store with half their teeth, booty shorts and a see-through or belly tshirt.
YOU AREN'T FOOLING ANYONE!

Just a few tips. Nothing too major.
Enjoy and Dress Responsibly.

I take it back

This is about the 50 Shades article.
Maybe the heroine is uninteresting as white bread like Bella Swan, but for serious this book is like Stephenie Meyer gave up Mormonism and her whole Abstinence campaign and joined some sex cult. 

Some super creepy Dominance-fueled sex cult. 

Just saying.

I was like- Oh God, this book is lame as all hell.
Then I was like O.O MY EYEBALLS HAVE BEEN RAPED WITH WORDS.
Then I think- this book was written by a lady- A TV executive with two kids who lives in South London

So I googled her.

 THIS IS E.L. JAMES

And after doing a bit of Wiki research I found out certain things.

She apparently wrote the bones of 50 shades as a twilight fanfiction.

MYSTERY SOLVED. 

Also apparently it's her midlife crisis on paper.

OBVIOUSLY.

She's late 40's and I'm being a jerk, because I know that I'm not the prettiest lady on the dance floor- but she kind of looks like a guy in a wig, or that library lady with too many cats who reads harlequins day and night. 

 And she came up with this.

Does anyone remember the secretary in the movie "10 things I hate about you". The one that was writing the extremely dirty romance novel on her computer instead of actually doing anything remotely productive? This is that woman made flesh, just a lot creepier. 

I know the "I" in the book is supposed to be the lovely Anastasia Steele, but now all I'm going to picture is her... and somehow that's going to lessen the impact. Kind of like how in Glee when they started using coach Beiste as a cool-off code--> yeah like that. 

I don't know what's worse, knowing that she wrote this book, or the fact that ladies my mom's age are reading this book.
*Shudder*

50 Shades of Twilight....

So I'm reading the latest book that is driving everyone into a frenzy. 50 Shades of Grey.
However, I keep getting the eerie feeling like I've read this before. I've only gotten part way through Chapter 2 and I can see some very creepy similarities to another book that was driving people into a frenzy not too long ago. The Twilight Saga.
1. Where should I start... hmm.. I'll start with the location. 50 Shades of Grey is set  Seattle/ Vancouver. For those who have read Twilight they might remember that Forks is in the state of Washington, and not too far from Seattle.
2. The Male interest: Christian Grey. So he's got Coppery Hair and Grey eyes, and is a control freak. Edward Cullen has Coppery/Bronze Hair and gold eyes, and is also a control freak. They both show up randomly to make their lady love act even more awkward than ever thought possible. They also are very suave and graceful and act older than they look.
3. The Heroine: She's got brownish hair and not much fashion sense. She loves to curl up with British novels instead of interacting with the populace. She also has never had a boyfriend and has never really felt anything for any boy ever. She is clumsy and socially awkward. Bella Swan suffers from the same characteristics down to a T, not being able to walk across flat surfaces without tripping, and reading Jane Austen novels for fun. Bella works at a outdoor adventure/ camping store while Anastasia works at a hardware store--> I know they're not the same, but in my head I can't help linking them because I shop too much at Canadian Tire which has both. 

4. The best guy friend
Jacob and Jose.
Both minorities, and both ever hopeful that their best girl will deign to show them any sort of romantic affection.
She doesn't. Ever.

I know, I know- I'm being picky and bratty, and I've got to give this book a chance. However, I just wanted to point out some of the similarities I picked out.

Since no one reads these things anyway

It's 2am, and I'm falling asleep
I need a gameplan for tomorrow so I can get things done
So- my to-do list
--> have breakfast. Because I never eat breakfast and my applesauce is going to waste
Said breakfast will be aforementioned applesauce, and scrambled eggs
>> Make online cue cards for my Japanese vocab quiz and study them
>Finish Season 4 of How I met your mother
> Write knitting pattern for celtic purse and start knitting it.
--> Have Lunch--> leftover mashed potatoes and veggies
>Go to Japanese class
- Finish 3 day road on the bus.