I take it back

This is about the 50 Shades article.
Maybe the heroine is uninteresting as white bread like Bella Swan, but for serious this book is like Stephenie Meyer gave up Mormonism and her whole Abstinence campaign and joined some sex cult. 

Some super creepy Dominance-fueled sex cult. 

Just saying.

I was like- Oh God, this book is lame as all hell.
Then I was like O.O MY EYEBALLS HAVE BEEN RAPED WITH WORDS.
Then I think- this book was written by a lady- A TV executive with two kids who lives in South London

So I googled her.

 THIS IS E.L. JAMES

And after doing a bit of Wiki research I found out certain things.

She apparently wrote the bones of 50 shades as a twilight fanfiction.

MYSTERY SOLVED. 

Also apparently it's her midlife crisis on paper.

OBVIOUSLY.

She's late 40's and I'm being a jerk, because I know that I'm not the prettiest lady on the dance floor- but she kind of looks like a guy in a wig, or that library lady with too many cats who reads harlequins day and night. 

 And she came up with this.

Does anyone remember the secretary in the movie "10 things I hate about you". The one that was writing the extremely dirty romance novel on her computer instead of actually doing anything remotely productive? This is that woman made flesh, just a lot creepier. 

I know the "I" in the book is supposed to be the lovely Anastasia Steele, but now all I'm going to picture is her... and somehow that's going to lessen the impact. Kind of like how in Glee when they started using coach Beiste as a cool-off code--> yeah like that. 

I don't know what's worse, knowing that she wrote this book, or the fact that ladies my mom's age are reading this book.
*Shudder*

50 Shades of Twilight....

So I'm reading the latest book that is driving everyone into a frenzy. 50 Shades of Grey.
However, I keep getting the eerie feeling like I've read this before. I've only gotten part way through Chapter 2 and I can see some very creepy similarities to another book that was driving people into a frenzy not too long ago. The Twilight Saga.
1. Where should I start... hmm.. I'll start with the location. 50 Shades of Grey is set  Seattle/ Vancouver. For those who have read Twilight they might remember that Forks is in the state of Washington, and not too far from Seattle.
2. The Male interest: Christian Grey. So he's got Coppery Hair and Grey eyes, and is a control freak. Edward Cullen has Coppery/Bronze Hair and gold eyes, and is also a control freak. They both show up randomly to make their lady love act even more awkward than ever thought possible. They also are very suave and graceful and act older than they look.
3. The Heroine: She's got brownish hair and not much fashion sense. She loves to curl up with British novels instead of interacting with the populace. She also has never had a boyfriend and has never really felt anything for any boy ever. She is clumsy and socially awkward. Bella Swan suffers from the same characteristics down to a T, not being able to walk across flat surfaces without tripping, and reading Jane Austen novels for fun. Bella works at a outdoor adventure/ camping store while Anastasia works at a hardware store--> I know they're not the same, but in my head I can't help linking them because I shop too much at Canadian Tire which has both. 

4. The best guy friend
Jacob and Jose.
Both minorities, and both ever hopeful that their best girl will deign to show them any sort of romantic affection.
She doesn't. Ever.

I know, I know- I'm being picky and bratty, and I've got to give this book a chance. However, I just wanted to point out some of the similarities I picked out.